greatamazingfeelingsboy

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neil perry

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Caleb sends the text before he goes into therapy, so he isn't fixated on waiting for Neil's response. Which, he isn't. He wouldn't be. It's not a date, or anything. It's a simple invite to go shopping and grab some lunch. Neil had seen firsthand how bare Caleb's apartment is, and he wouldn't mind some help getting something a little more... homey.

It's probably playing with fire, honestly. When he's with Neil, Caleb can feel the butterflies, and the actual horniness can get a little overwhelming, but Caleb thinks, probably, that he can handle it. It's just another thing to learn how to balance, right? And now that Dr. Fuller knows about his ability, it'll be easier to find an effective way to do that.

He thinks.

He hopes.

After therapy, he checks his phone, and smiles when he sees an answer. Caleb offers to pick him up, unless he'd rather meet at the store.

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"Oh man, we can totally trade, like, cinematic education, though," Caleb says. He grabs the remote to find something to put on. "Like, I can show you all the cool shit that I'm used to, and you can show me all the cool shit that you're used to."

He flips through the movie channels, then finds something familiar and gets it playing. It's a Darrow film — which is to say, a strange, funhouse mirror version of something Caleb loved from home — so it's easy enough for Caleb to pay half-attention to.

It's actually one that Neil's seen, in his years in Darrow, which is a good thing, but he still likes it. Since he has no context for some other version of it, and only the Darrow version, he appreciates it for what it is.

He sits, laughs at the jokes, and slowly leans toward Caleb. Gravity at work as he munches on his pizza.

"You got any soda?"

"Oh, yeah," he says. He stands, setting his pizza on the coffee table and heading towards the kitchen. "I've got Cola, I've got iced tea, I've got, uh, orange soda, if you like that?" He grabs Neil's choice, and an iced tea for himself, and returns to the couch to hand it over.

It's nice, just hanging out and watching something kind of mindless, enjoying pizza and soda with a friend.

Neil sips his cola, once he has it, slanting back toward Caleb all over again. He really can't help it. And when the pizza on his plat is done, he just sort of puts his head on Caleb's shoulder.

It's nice. Comfortable and calm. It's not how he was expecting to spend his time after work, but he likes it.

It feels totally natural, if Caleb's being honest. He's a tactile guy, and it doesn't make him uncomfortable to have Neil pressed against him. If anything, it's just one more thing that settles something in Caleb that he hadn't realized needed settling.

And before long, that easy familiarity has him relaxing even further, and resting his head against Neil's.

It feels like ages since he's been held. He and Rosie will drape, every once in a while, easy and casual hugs and lounging sprawls on the couch, but especially since she's spent more and more time out of the apartment with Charlie and Sabrina and Nick, it's been less and less of that. And with Harry gone, Guy, everyone else--it's been months.

Neil doesn't know when he starts to cry, because it's not a physical thing. He just notices a tear catching on his lip and he quickly wipes it off. Sniffles and mumbles some apology as he untangles and sits up.

"More pizza?"

"What—" Caleb starts, confusion plain on his face. "Neil? What's wrong?" He sits up, too, out of the comfortable slouch he'd sunk into, and grips Neil's shoulder gently, so he doesn't try to get up.

"Nothing," Neil says, a little breathless, a little overwhelmed. He smiles. He doesn't know Caleb enough to just wash over him with everything--they've just started really talking, and even if Caleb and Rosie are friends and Caleb knows some of the outline of things, Neil can't lay that all at his feet.

"Nothing, I just get caught up sometimes. I'll be fine in a minute."

'Nothing,' he lies. Caleb swallows the urge to argue, and it gives Neil a chance to course-correct. But it doesn't totally soothe Caleb, and he slides his hand over his back.

"Listen, if... if you need to, like, get something out... I'm here. I'll, I'll listen. O-or you don't even have to talk, you can just... I'm not gonna judge you if you need to cry."

It's such a kind affection, and Neil manages to swallow it like it might slake his thirst, like it might soothe everything for just a moment. He takes a couple of slow breaths.

"It's just been a rough couple of months," he finally says, and his smile is still there, small and kind and appreciative. "Really, I'm fine. I think it just caught up with me."

Caleb doesn't look convinced, but he keeps his hand on Neil's back, because he can feel that Neil likes it.

"You can talk about it, if you want," he says again. "I don't want you to, like, bottle anything up."

"I mean, talking about it isn't going to change anything though, is it?"

And maybe that's unkind, because Caleb sees someone to professionally talk about things. Because Neil has found that talking to some people does help. But he's also an idiot, and talking about things tends to end poorly for him. And in this, there's nothing to fix. He's just--

He needed a cigarette and some fresh air, but that seemed selfish.

Caleb manfully doesn't flinch, but only just.

"It might change your perspective on it," he points out, then shrugs. "Listen, you don't have to. Just... if you want to, I'll listen, okay?"

Neil nods a little bit, like he's putting the knowledge away for safe keeping, but he doesn't say anything. The movie plays on without them, bright and lively, and after a moment, Neil extracts himself from the couch to go and get the box of pizza and just bring it back to the coffee table.

Caleb watches him, a bit of a lost puppy expression on his face. He waits for Neil to come back to the couch, and once he's settled, pulls him close and puts his arm around Neil's shoulders. He bites his lip and looks at him.

"This okay?"

Neil's ears go red and hot, a flush of nervous, embarrassed excitement to be scooped close. He keeps his gaze on the television and nods, small, but enough to be notable. His head goes back to Caleb's shoulder without a second thought.

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