greatamazingfeelingsboy: (in the ocean)
Caleb Michaels ([personal profile] greatamazingfeelingsboy) wrote2020-01-16 09:03 am
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mid-Jan

Michael isn't doing too hot. Which, fuck, of course he isn't. He'd been literally abducted, cut into, cut open, studied, like some fucking science experiment straight out of any sci-fi movie. Of course he isn't doing well. But he's not even talking. Caleb's so worried about him that he's taken off from school for the rest of the week, and he visits whenever he can handle it.

Right now, he steps into the apartment with a wan smile at Alex, and he follows Michael's feelings into the bedroom. They're muffled — acetone, Caleb's pretty sure — but ever since that weird moment in the lab, when he'd felt Michael reach out, Caleb's had an even stronger connection with him. The acetone does nothing to really hide the feelings from him.

One of the dining room table chairs is by the bed, because Caleb sometimes stays for a long time. He wishes Dr. Bright were here. If anyone could be trusted with Michael's secret, it'd be her, and she'd be able to help him through this. Caleb isn't equipped for this beyond his ability, and he's not even sure he's actually helping.

He sits in the chair, draping his jacket against the back of it, and looks at Michael, allows himself to tune into his frequency.

'Fucked up' doesn't even really cover it.
littleorphanalien: (distraught)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael hasn't gone to work since he got taken.

He'd trusted Alex to talk for him and send his apologies, but he's starting to wonder if he's ever going to be able to go back. He hasn't even moved from the bed, and his eyes are glazed and tired, his body listless. He's been patched up, but he doesn't do anything but lie there, drinking acetone to numb him, and curl around a pillow in lieu of Alex not being in bed with him.

Michael's exhausted, even though he hasn't done anything, but he curls into himself a little more when he sees Caleb, as if he can somehow withdraw and bury his feelings, as if Caleb won't have to feel them, then. He peers up at him, barely registering him for more than the briefest of moments, his eyes flicking to him, and then he buries his forehead in the pillow.

It's like he's gone back to being that mute, scared little boy all over again, because his nightmare had come to life.
littleorphanalien: (doubting)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 04:42 pm (UTC)(link)
He hates the feeling of being useless, but he feels like he can't even have a voice, because if he opens his mouth, he might just end up sobbing all over Caleb, and that's not what he's there for. He doesn't deserve to have that put on him.

He swallows and mouths 'sorry' as he lifts his head, wincing at the touch to his hair, because he knows how bad it's gotten. He reaches up to pry his hand out of his hair, staring at it with disgust, but that requires getting up.

That's not the biggest worry he has right now either, and he eyes Caleb. He learned a little sign, back when he was a child, but he doesn't need that now as he points to Caleb, and then makes an "okay" symbol with his fingers, raising his brows questioningly.
littleorphanalien: (shock)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael breathes out raggedly when their foreheads press together. It's a comfort, it is, but it's also enough to make him feel weaker than ever before. It shows in the way his breath shudders and sobs. He's supported, he has friends, and more importantly, he has family.

And he still feels guilty as hell for dragging them into this.

His hand drifts to the wound near his stomach, which he thinks will scar, and thinks about the glowing organs and the paranoia. His eyes flick to the door, meaning Alex, and he wonders how many cameras they have now. He points out there, then makes the same worried 'okay' symbol, knowing this answer might not be so passionate.
littleorphanalien: (lip press)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael rolls his eyes, because asking him to not feel guilty about this whole disaster is impossible. It's his fault that he's an alien. It's his fault he wasn't a lot more circumspect about the crash and New Years. It's his fault.

And he's so worried about Alex, more than he can say.

He lets out a choked little sob, and just wants Alex to be okay. He wants Caleb to be okay. Gesturing for the notepad by the bed, he tries to get Caleb to hand it to him, because he feels better writing things.
littleorphanalien: (remembering)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
He reaches out for the pad, grateful, and he writes with a shaking hand. His writing is already scrawled and ugly at the best of times, and this is no better.

I'm sorry. Didn't mean to drag you into it.

He rips that off to hand to Caleb, already writing on the next page.

My emotions must be a mess. You don't have to stick around, I know it's bad.

After all, if Caleb gets overwhelmed by beer and anger, what must he be feeling right now, as raw and emotional as Michael is?
littleorphanalien: (affection)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael hates how his hand shakes, and hates how when Caleb touches him, the items on the nightstand move, like a fear response kicking in. He closes his eyes tightly, but when Caleb says that he's here, that he's home, that he's alive, and that's all he cares about, he grabs at his shirt at the shoulders.

Then he hauls all six foot something of him down into the bed so he can grab him possessively tight, a mute and distraught man, but grateful for what he does have.

His family made sure he didn't die, and he has to hope they also made sure that no one will have evidence of what they found. Grimacing when he realizes he pulled Caleb right onto his wound, he fights to steady himself and shift onto his good side, but he doesn't let go.
littleorphanalien: (sob)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)
He doesn't speak, but he does give a grateful sob that's wracked from the depths of him, like he doesn't believe him, but is selfish enough to accept it, because he wants it so badly. He grapples to haul Caleb in a little more, burying his face in Caleb's chest to muffle the sound of his pitiful weakness.

He presses his hand over Caleb's heart, trying to share the same feeling without saying the words, if only because the very act of talking is too much. He hasn't spoken since they strapped him down, since his last protest had fallen on deaf ears.

Soon to be dead ones, as Alex had made sure.
littleorphanalien: (old wounds)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Caleb shouldn't be the one having to comfort him, but at the same time, Michael also needs this. He grabs at his shirt and hauls himself in, breathing raggedly and deeply, just wanting to be there. He wants to plead for forgiveness, or to go back in time.

He also wants to go into the pod.

He knows it would be stasis and he would still end up feeling it after, but the idea of not existing for a while is tempting and he knows how to do it. He goes a touch limp at the squeeze, feeling weak. Reaching for the pad, he writes, beer? because he wants to make sure Caleb knows he wants to drink.
littleorphanalien: (composure)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-16 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
He wants to be numbed, but he also doesn't want Caleb to leave. He nods, and puts the pad away, deciding instead to wrap his arms around Caleb's waist to pull himself in. He and Isobel and Max had done this when they were younger, especially after the drifter, and he's back to that, a puppy pile of grief.

He winces a little as he moves, his stitches catching against his shirt, and he makes a wounded sound of protest, unable to get too close.
littleorphanalien: (beat down)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-17 02:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael has been touch-starved for a long time, even though he'd never willingly admit to it. He feels better the moment Caleb curls him in, and lets out a ragged, shaky sound, burrowing back into him, grabbing for Alex's pillow in order to pull it in to his chest and face, inhaling deeply.

He closes his eyes and focuses on calm, breathing in and out, and he strives for it, because he wants Caleb to feel it, wants him to feel something other than guilt and panic and fear from Michael right now.

He grabs at his hand so he can squeeze gently, supportive, appreciative, and grateful for his position. If he were himself, he'd make a crack about Alex finding them like this, but he's not.
littleorphanalien: (small)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-17 04:06 pm (UTC)(link)
He's been alone for so many years of his life. Even when he had Max and Isobel, he felt alone, because they had a happy family, and he had the group homes and the loneliness. Now, he has Caleb and Alex, they have Luke, and he has friends.

He's not alone.

And it's the strangest thing to get used to it. He drags a word, barely whispered, but spoken. "Thanks."
littleorphanalien: (numb morning)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-17 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Now that he's spoken, it hasn't unleashed the rest of his words. They still feel caught up behind a dam that he's nervous to let loose, but he's so grateful for Caleb's relief, curling into his body. He feels awful that they did this for him, because it's just more death that's tied to him, but he wanted to be rescued.

When he turns a little, he sees the tears on Caleb's face, and he uses his rough, calloused thumb over them, giving him a look that basically pleads for him to not cry.

Because if he does, then Michael's going to -- again.
littleorphanalien: (affection)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-17 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael makes a face, because now his shoulder is all soggy, but he doesn't care, not really, and he ruffles Caleb's hair off his forehead, gently touching and making sure he knows that Caleb is okay, too, because he willingly entered into a war zone for him.

His smile is still tired, like he doesn't have the energy, and he wishes that he could do anything else, but he feels like he can't. So instead, he rests his forehead against Caleb's and just breathes out slowly.
littleorphanalien: (beat down)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-18 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael doesn't want to rest. Closing his eyes brings nightmares, and that's the last thing he wants right now. He'd rather press up against Caleb and try and think of happier things. He reaches for the notepad and writes, talk to me? on it.

And then adds a little happy face with a question mark, like that'll get Caleb going in the right direction.
littleorphanalien: (composure)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-19 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael doesn't actually accuse Caleb of nerdery, but he mouths the word when Quidditch comes up again. He's starting to feel a little better for the soothing voice, for his being there, and for the way he can just let Caleb's touch lull him.

It aches to think that his secret is out there, that people know he's an alien.

Fuck, what's he supposed to do? He doesn't sleep, mostly because he hasn't been, but he adjusts to press in tighter, tapping Caleb's hand to get his attention. He gestures to himself, then adds, "...how many know?"
littleorphanalien: (look at the stars)

[personal profile] littleorphanalien 2020-01-19 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Michael's a bad liar himself, but the thing is, he doesn't recognize it in other people. He trusts them, at least when they're close to him, so he trusts Caleb at his word, especially when he knows that Alex had done something about it.

He nods, trying to let that soothe him, and he breathes out raggedly, curling into Caleb's hold. He mouths 'okay' and closes his eyes, making a gesture with his fingers for Caleb to keep talking.