greatamazingfeelingsboy

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neil perry

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Caleb sends the text before he goes into therapy, so he isn't fixated on waiting for Neil's response. Which, he isn't. He wouldn't be. It's not a date, or anything. It's a simple invite to go shopping and grab some lunch. Neil had seen firsthand how bare Caleb's apartment is, and he wouldn't mind some help getting something a little more... homey.

It's probably playing with fire, honestly. When he's with Neil, Caleb can feel the butterflies, and the actual horniness can get a little overwhelming, but Caleb thinks, probably, that he can handle it. It's just another thing to learn how to balance, right? And now that Dr. Fuller knows about his ability, it'll be easier to find an effective way to do that.

He thinks.

He hopes.

After therapy, he checks his phone, and smiles when he sees an answer. Caleb offers to pick him up, unless he'd rather meet at the store.

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"I'm good with whatever," Caleb answers, and when he feels Neil's exasperated reaction — like Caleb is trying to be easygoing and actually just being difficult — he glances over and says, "No, really, like, the only thing I won't eat is anchovies?"

"So, extra anchovies and pineapple, then," Neil says with some laughter and a roll of his eyes as he orders them two large pepperoni. Even if they only eat a bit while Neil's there, helping, Caleb will have plenty left over.

"Okay it should be there in about twenty minutes, so we'll have plenty of time to figure out sort of where you want things."

Caleb huffs a laugh and shakes his head.

"So, you're secretly evil, got it," he teases.

He parks, then turns off the car so they can get Caleb's things into his apartment. He lives on the first floor, so at least it isn't a trek. Once they're inside, Caleb takes the foodstuffs to put away first.

"It's easier when you have such a trustworthy face like me," Neil says agreeably, helping to grab things. While Caleb organizes in the kitchen, Neil starts leaning things against one of the walls, looking at everything all together. It's eclectic, but it's a good collection, and something that can be built on.

Caleb can feel Neil puzzling things out, and the focus makes him want to rearrange the whole apartment. He carries the bag of bathroom accessories over to the bathroom door, then joins Neil at the wall with the collection.

"Okay, like... I look like a psychopath," he says with a laugh. "None of this really goes together, does it?"

"Is that what makes someone look like a psycho? Shit, I need to turn myself in."

Neil laughs. "Caleb, you've been in my and Rosie's apartment. Does not going together seem like a problem?"

Caleb looks thoughtful, the tips his head to the side. "Okay, so I guess I hadn't noticed?" he admits. "I'm totally over thinking this, aren't I? Fuck, and we've barely even started."

He looks at the selection again, then grabs the city sunset print.

"Okay, this one, I think, I want..." He looks around, then moves to the little dining room table that he's literally never used. "Here," he decides, holding it up towards the wall behind the table. It's visible from the kitchen, but it won't be in his face all the time.

"You're definitely overthinking it."

Neil lets Caleb mill about, figuring where he wants things. He puts the pillows and blankets on the couch, tearing off price tags as he goes. He looks up when Caleb seems settled, and smiles.

"That's a nice there."

Caleb can't believe the difference he can already feel in the place. It looks more like a home. It still needs work, but it's a start.

There's a buzz at the door, and Caleb jumps, then remembers that there's pizza, and he has to buzz the guy in so he can get it.

"Still getting used to that part," he admits. He'd never ordered delivery at Michael's place in Candlewood. He does it, though, and opens the door just before the delivery guy can knock.

But he steps out of the way so Neil can pay.

Neil comes over, smiling, chatting with the pizza guy--someone he knows, that he's hung around and drunk with a couple times, that he tips well. And then they have two large pizzas, which Neil carries right over to the kitchen.

"They're the same, because I'm lazy."

"You monster," Caleb says, deadpan, but he can't hold it long. He joins Neil at the counter and grabs a pair of plates for them to put their slices on.

"Okay, after pizza, you can show me the magic and wonder of string lights," he says. "But for now, it's movie time."

"Wow, making a full day of it." The deadpan is kind of nice, and just like the last time they hung out, it's the ease of everything that makes it good. He loads up his plate with slices of pizza and goes over to the couch.

"You're in charge of movies, too, otherwise we're watching something that everybody calls a classic these days."

"Oh man, we can totally trade, like, cinematic education, though," Caleb says. He grabs the remote to find something to put on. "Like, I can show you all the cool shit that I'm used to, and you can show me all the cool shit that you're used to."

He flips through the movie channels, then finds something familiar and gets it playing. It's a Darrow film — which is to say, a strange, funhouse mirror version of something Caleb loved from home — so it's easy enough for Caleb to pay half-attention to.

It's actually one that Neil's seen, in his years in Darrow, which is a good thing, but he still likes it. Since he has no context for some other version of it, and only the Darrow version, he appreciates it for what it is.

He sits, laughs at the jokes, and slowly leans toward Caleb. Gravity at work as he munches on his pizza.

"You got any soda?"

"Oh, yeah," he says. He stands, setting his pizza on the coffee table and heading towards the kitchen. "I've got Cola, I've got iced tea, I've got, uh, orange soda, if you like that?" He grabs Neil's choice, and an iced tea for himself, and returns to the couch to hand it over.

It's nice, just hanging out and watching something kind of mindless, enjoying pizza and soda with a friend.

Neil sips his cola, once he has it, slanting back toward Caleb all over again. He really can't help it. And when the pizza on his plat is done, he just sort of puts his head on Caleb's shoulder.

It's nice. Comfortable and calm. It's not how he was expecting to spend his time after work, but he likes it.

It feels totally natural, if Caleb's being honest. He's a tactile guy, and it doesn't make him uncomfortable to have Neil pressed against him. If anything, it's just one more thing that settles something in Caleb that he hadn't realized needed settling.

And before long, that easy familiarity has him relaxing even further, and resting his head against Neil's.

It feels like ages since he's been held. He and Rosie will drape, every once in a while, easy and casual hugs and lounging sprawls on the couch, but especially since she's spent more and more time out of the apartment with Charlie and Sabrina and Nick, it's been less and less of that. And with Harry gone, Guy, everyone else--it's been months.

Neil doesn't know when he starts to cry, because it's not a physical thing. He just notices a tear catching on his lip and he quickly wipes it off. Sniffles and mumbles some apology as he untangles and sits up.

"More pizza?"

"What—" Caleb starts, confusion plain on his face. "Neil? What's wrong?" He sits up, too, out of the comfortable slouch he'd sunk into, and grips Neil's shoulder gently, so he doesn't try to get up.

"Nothing," Neil says, a little breathless, a little overwhelmed. He smiles. He doesn't know Caleb enough to just wash over him with everything--they've just started really talking, and even if Caleb and Rosie are friends and Caleb knows some of the outline of things, Neil can't lay that all at his feet.

"Nothing, I just get caught up sometimes. I'll be fine in a minute."

'Nothing,' he lies. Caleb swallows the urge to argue, and it gives Neil a chance to course-correct. But it doesn't totally soothe Caleb, and he slides his hand over his back.

"Listen, if... if you need to, like, get something out... I'm here. I'll, I'll listen. O-or you don't even have to talk, you can just... I'm not gonna judge you if you need to cry."

It's such a kind affection, and Neil manages to swallow it like it might slake his thirst, like it might soothe everything for just a moment. He takes a couple of slow breaths.

"It's just been a rough couple of months," he finally says, and his smile is still there, small and kind and appreciative. "Really, I'm fine. I think it just caught up with me."

Caleb doesn't look convinced, but he keeps his hand on Neil's back, because he can feel that Neil likes it.

"You can talk about it, if you want," he says again. "I don't want you to, like, bottle anything up."

"I mean, talking about it isn't going to change anything though, is it?"

And maybe that's unkind, because Caleb sees someone to professionally talk about things. Because Neil has found that talking to some people does help. But he's also an idiot, and talking about things tends to end poorly for him. And in this, there's nothing to fix. He's just--

He needed a cigarette and some fresh air, but that seemed selfish.

Caleb manfully doesn't flinch, but only just.

"It might change your perspective on it," he points out, then shrugs. "Listen, you don't have to. Just... if you want to, I'll listen, okay?"